TALKING TO A RETURNEE FROM AFRICA

I know many of you have been praying for us on this trip. Your prayers have been felt. We have felt the presence of God in every movement we have made. Every encounter with people has been a learning experience. God has been at work here.

Now that we are coming home, there are a few things that you need to know about how to talk to us. I write this not because we don’t want you to talk to us. We want to share but please be patient with us. This trip has changed us and hopefully you will see this. So here are some tips from my heart to help you understand how to talk to a returnee from a trip to the C.A.R.

“Don’t ask, we will tell.” We will have a lot on our minds. This kind of trip has a way of changing your life forever and you have a lot of stories to tell. So please, don’t ask “how was your trip?” if you are expecting only a ten second answer. If you have time, we will tell, if you don’t, just say “I prayed for you” (if you did) or “Glad to have you back home” (if you are… smile!).

The following terms and expressions are expressly forbidden to use with a short-termer from Africa:

“I’m starving.” Look, we know you are using a metaphor, but we’ve been out of the metaphorical word for a while and we have seen what real starving looks like. So, please, don’t say that, if you don’t want to push the wrong button with us.

“Life isn’t fair.” If you say that, we will point you to a group of Pygmies who are despised and rejected by people around them, who call them “animals” simply because they are Pygmies. We will tell you about how they get robbed and taken advantage of every day for the “sin” of looking different.

“I hate my work.” You may indeed hate your work for legitimate reasons, but we would rather not hear that because we can point you to hundreds of thousands of people here who don’t even have a job to hate. We will tell you about the young men who push carts full of wood from as far away as 40 miles, working all day long for $5.

“I can’t do it.” Perhaps you feel overwhelmed by life’s challenge, but we’ve just been with people who day in and day out have to fight for their very survival. A father, whose son is so sick with pneumonia, having to take him back home again and again because the hospital does not have a bed for him? A mother with no milk left in her malnourished body to feed her newborn baby. Yet, somehow they gather the strength to go on. If they can do it, so can you!

The list could go on and on, but I will stop here. My advice to you is that if you see one of us who just returned to Africa and we don’t look too cheerful, it is not because we are not happy to be home. If you see any extra worry lines on our faces, it is not simply because we have not gotten enough sleep the last two weeks. If you detect any hint of sadness on our faces, it is not because we haven’t experienced the goodness of God in some amazing ways.

It is rather that we are trying to process all that we saw and heard and trying to understand what this all means to us who live in one of the most prosperous nations in the world. People who go to poverty stricken areas of this world tend to become somewhat disoriented or displaced, albeit temporarily, in their own culture. For some of us it will be harder than others but we will all experience this reversed cultural shock in one way or another -- hesitating to buy an item in the store because of the price, criticize people for how much they spend on their pets, feeling guilty for living where we are, yearning for a return to a much slower pace of life, etc., etc., etc.

Don't worry. These typical blues normally accompany the reentry process for those who have been blessed and burdened with an extended visit to some of the poorest areas of the world. Some of us might enter into a contemplative phase for a while, and then come out of it with a stronger resolve to serve God by serving the last, the least, the lost of this world. Your people won’t need to get back to our people. You will hear from us directly.

Thank you for your understanding. And please, keep praying for us!

Pastor Ivanildo C. Trindade
itrindade@woostergrace.org

PS.: I'm checking out. It's past 2:15 a.m. local time. I now know why we didn't have Internet here...